TEENAGE SEX - SHOCKING REALITIES

In London on 9th Feb 2009, 13 yrs old, Alfie Patten became the father of a baby girl named Maisie Roxanne, reports
The Sun Tabloid, giving a shock wave to ‘Broken Britain’ culture. Alfie was just 12 when he is said to have impregnated Chantelle Steadman, the new mom, who is now 15.
The story runs thus: The kids were ‘dating’ for a while, which ended up one night in unprotected sex. When pregnancy was confirmed, it was kept secret by the ‘young couple’ due to fear of parental scolding. Later on, when this secret of kids was discovered, seemingly late for an abortion, the kids decided to proceed with parenting the child to-be-born, with the support of their parents, the solution to which the social workers and the police has consented before the delivery of Chantelle.
The new family made media appearance with the new born baby, who weighed about 3.27 kilos on 14th Feb 2009 and the young Dad vowed to be a good father, though when asked by the media: “What will you do financially??” his reply question was “Whatz is financially???” On an explanatory query:what will you do for money and how will you affort the expenses on baby?” Alfie mumbled: "I didn't think about how we would afford it. I don't really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me 10 pounds". The ironic photographic published by “The Sun” also highlights that the young parents were enjoying a play station, 18-rated action game “Saints Row II” which has already received an "M for Mature" rating from the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) on 26th Jan 2009.

This cover story is not only a scoop but also points to the reality of Teenage sex which is nowadays universal, irrespective of rural and urban culture. Usually many stories of this kind don’t surface to public attention because of abortions done by teenage kids, before the balloon blows up. Dating and premarital sex among teenagers is no longer a taboo even in India. Walking hand in hand, kissing & caressing in public places and having sex in nooks and corners of schools and colleges are no longer surprise for new generation. Parental disapproval and society’s contempt are overthrown by the game of secrecy and smartness. Availability & accessibility of finger tip technologies like mobile phones and internets dissolves barriers of information, communication and exposure.
In Alfie-Chantelle’s case, delay in identifying pregnancy, fear of revealing the fact of conception to parents at early stages, feeling of shame/ insult(may be) and unrealistic picture of parenthood could have lead to decisions of giving birth. But in many hundreds of similar cases, no one is entirely certain why this is happening and how to stop this natural instinct. In America and European countries planned teenage pregnancies are recorded to have increased in number, year after year. But in developed and developing countries including India, vast majority of teen pregnancies are accidental and unplanned which infact leads to abortions, sexually transmitted diseases, mental and physical traumas and even suicides.

Responsibility for Teenage Sex can be attributed mainly to Parents, Media, Law enforcement authorities and the upcoming KGOY concept.
1. Even today one of the most difficult moments of parenthood involves the fumbling attempts and embarrassing moments trying to discuss sex with their adolescent children. By being an open, honest and good listener one can make kids understand the difference between friendship, love, sex and the space between them at early ages, which will makes children equipped and informed. It's far better for them to learn the correct and complete facts of life from parents rather than from exxagerated and unfactual stuff from any friends of their age or learn through a bitter sexual experience. The lack of closeness and belonging towards the family often pushes children into the warmth of sexual relationships including teenage sex.

2. Sexualized media culture which is a complete bombardment of sexual images, plays a huge role in molding the lifestyle of kids in their growing ages. Media’s negative societal influences, including disturbing and confusing images, violence, and age-inappropriate messages, tempts teens to imitate and experiment things, without thinking of consequences. There should be an enforcement authority that execute laws as to restriction on media’s sexual taints and publicities, including internet and magazine, so that repairing can be implemented from grassroot level.

3. Going by the letters of law, almost all countries round the world presumes that sexual intercourse with an under-aged girl is illegal and amounts to ‘statutory rape’. But there are grey areas which provide loopholes. In any case, there need to have a law enforcement authority making parents have some responsibility for crimes committed by their children.

4. KGOY concept stands for “Kids Getting Older Younger” which was infact a marketing mechanization for age compression; a plot whereby robbing the children out of their childhood and making them think and behave like adults. Instead of allowing kids to develop and learn things at their own pace, kids are exposed to wider options, technologies and ideas, which inturn makes them do experimentations on themselves and others.

Who all can help? Parents, Teachers, Doctors, Counsellors, Religious Preachers, Media and other adults associated with kids can help the new generation understand that, though sex is an inevitable part of adolescent development, adult and loving relationship should be the basis of a sexual relationship. On one side experts says that, if teenage pregnancy rates are to be reduced, there must be an open and accepting attitude towards teenage sexuality, appropriate sex and relationships education, information availability and easy access to confidential contraceptive services. On the other hand it is also observed that emphasis on sex education and making contraception freely available to young people is creating a climate in which teenagers think it is normal to be sexually active before the age of majority. Without degrading the perception of sex as a casual recreational activity, society need to uphold the moral bondage between a man and a woman, which is an expression of the total self-giving on the basis on understanding love for a lifetime.

FOOTNOTE: WE CREATE THE SOCIETY, ITS CULTURE AND ITS ETHOS; SOCIAL ENGINEERING IS NOTHING BUT WILL OF PUBLIC!!
SOURCES:

6 comments:

  1. Hi, Anju,
    This article on ' Teenage Sex' is really good.
    I suggest that you send it for publication in some of the Indian Magazines too.
    What you said in this article is absolute truth.
    KEEP IT MY GIRL..
    Wish you all the best..

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awesome article dear..well though and well written..i agree with ya thoughts..its been a shockin thing and we shud look at these things beyond cultural barriers..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Sentinel Leader,

    When I saw the news item I had my doubts. Any doctor can clarify whether a boy of 13 years will have enough sperms to impregnate a girl. At that age, boys and girls have a strange urge towards their sexual organs. But intercourse at that age is unimaginable, I think. Even boys do not know anything about that at that age, leave alone girls.

    Here you should think of our ancestors and their wisdom. At the very age when a boy gets sexual inclination, he was married officially on those days. So a boy never even imagined that he can have sex with anybody other than his "wife" This naturally avoided extra marital affairs. But in the name of civilization we have abolished that. Now, as this blog points out things are happening in street corners and dark sides of the schools. How to stop this? Sex is an emotional volcano. Nobody has the power to stop that. Sexual urge is God given. We can never win over it. But we can find out ways and means to regulate that. Give a boy a girl at a young age and tell him your pursuits will start and end with her. He cannot, even in the wildest of dreams, think about any other girl. (Perhaps you may brand me as a fundamentalist!!)

    RAVI

    ReplyDelete
  4. his post of yours is very touching and emotional. Anyone reading it will feel a sort of helpness. Like you have said >>words carry energy to change life and images creates a long lasting impression on heart<<. Keep writing..

    ReplyDelete
  5. Quite a shocking and yet very much in the face reality of modern times. Nowadays, kids make fun of someone preaching control and practising restrain about sexual urges. The moment someone learns his/her kind, they want to explore further without even being sensible about the results.

    the answers of the kid-father show clearly that he himself has not become an identity. Hope the old values are somewhat understood in today's world.

    ReplyDelete
  6. dear all things are very well, but everything is best at there own time.

    Iftikhar

    ReplyDelete